The truth may give you Goosebumps.
Why It's Hard To Talk About My Bisexuality
“The hardest part about being bisexual is that I can’t figure out what to say to everyone who loves me to make them completely comfortable with it.”
Will Varner / BuzzFeed
I met my friend Paul in a novel-writing workshop; we liked each other's work and hit it off right away, so soon he invited me to grab coffee with him and another gay guy from our workshop. Eventually the conversation turned to our personal lives, and Paul asked me for clarification on my sexuality. I was writing a novel about, among other things, two women in their twenties falling in love. But also, my look is most often a straight girl aesthetic and I might've mentioned the guy I was dating at the time. So he asked me.
"I'm bisexual," I said.
Paul smiled warmly at me and asked, "How old are you?"
"23," I said.
"You're young," he said, "You'll get over it."
"I'm bisexual," I said to a guy on the third date, as our conversation turned to past relationships. It was an awkward and abrupt coming out, as are most of my coming outs. I have to come out over and over again, to just about everyone I meet, but I haven't gotten any better at it — probably because I'm in a constant state of anxious anticipation about their response. It's a terrible buzzkill when I'm really liking someone and then they say something like "I don't believe bisexuality really exists."
With Third Date Guy, I came out timidly and awkwardly, trying to preempt any bad conversation that would make me dislike him. I said, "People always ask me the same two questions. First—"
He cut me off: "Stop acting like you're the only queer girl I've ever hung out with."
On our fourth date, he asked me the questions.
This is the first question: "OK, you're bisexual, but who have you dated more of?"
Meaning: Should I think of you as straight or gay?
13 Unexpected Things That Might Not Be So Great For Your Mental Health
Mental health experts weigh in on the things that aren’t as good for you as you think.
If you haven't been feeling so hot, these little seemingly normal things might be a problem. To help, BuzzFeed Life talked to a few mental health experts about the most common behaviors that might not be as helpful as you think — and what you might want to consider doing instead.
You binge-watch Netflix whenever you're feeling run down.
While escaping from the world through an extra-long Netflix binge can feel like a good distraction in the moment, it could actually make you feel worse in the long run. Clinical psychologist Jennifer Taitz, Psy.D., previously told BuzzFeed Life: "People have come to me profoundly depressed after Netflix binges. Treatment for depression is getting active, and feeling purposeful and accomplished. Watching TV is passive."
Better advice: Use your favorite comfort TV show as a reward for productivity, a way to wind down at the end of the day, or as a social activity (all things that will make you feel less depressed). This site lets you sync up Netflix with others remotely so you can watch with a friend even on days you can't get out of bed.
FOX / Via thealexandriaarchives.tumblr.com
You avoid stressful situations when you're anxious so save yourself even more anxiety.
No one wants to trigger themselves, so it might feel good to avoid situations that make you anxious, such as a party if you suffer from social phobia. Weirdly enough, though, the more you avoid, the worse you make your anxiety, says Taitz, since you build it up and never get the chance to see that things will be OK.
Better advice: Put yourself in situations that challenge your anxiety, even if it feels bad in the moment. It will help in the long run. "The way to develop or worsen an anxiety disorder is to avoid and the way to recover is to approach your fear of situations," says Taitz.
You take mental health days when you're feeling overwhelmed with life.
Mental health days are great in theory, but most people don't actually use them effectively — aka they spend them sleeping, watching Netflix, or doing nothing at all. But according to Taitz, you'll feel much better if you take them super sparingly — and if you plan out what you'll do when you take them.
Better advice: First of all, don't make mental health days your go-to solution, says Taitz: "On days that you wake up and aren’t feeling great mentally, go in, but give yourself permission to leave early if you don’t improve." Many people will feel better once they get to work.
When you do decide you need to take a mental health day, it should be action-filled, because you feel better when you're productive and living with purpose, says Taitz. For example, if you're taking a day because you really hate your job and it's making you miserable, take the day to meet with a career coach and apply to new jobs.
15 Fun And Useful Vinyl Storage Ideas
Hey Mr. DJ, put a record on…and then put it back where it belongs.
As you well know, there is always ye olde faithful Ikea Kallax series (RIP, Expedit).
Here's everything in the Kallax series.
But there are many ways to hack Ikea's square storage systems to look more vintage and less basic.
This hack uses stained plywood. How simple!
Records don't need to be stored on shelves. You can make your living room clutter-free by storing them in drawers.
18 U.S. Honeymoon Ideas For Every Personality
No passport required.
Big Sur, California
Big Sur is a costal area in Central California where mountains coincide with the bright blue ocean. If you decide to go, be sure to stop at Pfeiffer Beach. The dramatic cliffs and purple sand create the most Instagram-worthy pictures. It's tucked away, and it can be a bit difficult to find, but everyone who visits the crowd-free beach agrees the hunt is worth it. Watch the sunrise on the beach, then take the two-hour road trip along the scenic Monterey Bay coast to visit the famous Redwoods State Park. There you can drive through some of the oldest redwood trees or pretend you're in a Twilight movie as you admire the forest.
Newport, Rhode Island
Newport is a cute little beach town about an hour south of Providence. Here you can spend the day roaming Cliff Walk beach and peeking into the beachside backyards of Newport mansions. If staying on land isn't thrilling enough, then you and your spouse can enjoy the breeze in your hair with a sailboat tour of the area. There are plenty of boating companies (like this one and this one) that offer various packages and pricing so you can chose what suits you best. After relaxing by the beach, you can cap off the evening with dinner at the romantic Restaurant Bouchard or the more casual Midtown Oyster Bar.
Joshua Mcdonough / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com
Grand Haven, Michigan
People often overlook Michigan for a beach getaway because it lacks an ocean coast. However, there are plenty of lake beaches that provide the same kind of fun, but without sharks and jellyfish. The Grand Haven State Park is located right along the water, and if you ever wanted to camp on the beach this is your chance! There are campsites available to the public which can be easily reserved in advance. If you end up visiting Grand Haven, make sure to stop into Chocolates by Grimaldi for a tour and plenty of free samples.
