*Breathes deeply, visualizes a breezy meadow, pounds wine*
Totally understandable. Here are some helpful ways to get through it all unscathed...ish.
Be aware that the holiday season makes the emotional stakes feel crazy high.
Sure, we always want our family weekends to go smoothly. But around the holidays the increased social pressure to bond with loved ones and enjoy every minute of such a special time of year makes it especially challenging to deal with less-than-cozy family situations, Jonice Webb, Ph.D, licensed psychologist and author of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, tells BuzzFeed Life.
"We're pushed into this feeling like 'this should be wonderful, everything has be just right,'" says Webb, which makes the stakes feel higher than usual, which makes it more of a let down when there's tension, fighting, or misunderstandings.
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So adjust your expectations accordingly.
Just being aware of how the holidays can wreak havoc on your emotions will help you better prepare. You don't want to be overly pessimistic going into it, but you do want to be realistic.
That thing your uncle does that makes you super angry? There's no reason to think he won't do it this year and that it won't trigger you. That power struggle you and your brother seem to have every time you're together? The fact that it's Christmas won't make it go away. Having realistic expectations will make it so much easier to deal with whatever goes down, licensed clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., tells BuzzFeed Life.
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Identify each and every thing that's likely to trigger you.
It's super useful to have the awareness that things might get dicey while spending the holidays with family. But it's even better to know exactly which things are likely to trigger you, says Bonior. So instead of thinking of the entire holiday weekend like one big shitshow, Webb recommends taking some time to think about specific potential landmines so you won't be caught off guard.
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