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17 Expert Tips To Help Couples Actually Solve Relationship Issues

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These relationship hacks might change everything.


Sit on a comfy couch if you want to negotiate.


Sit on a comfy couch if you want to negotiate.


A study published in 2010 by professors at M.I.T., Harvard and Yale showed that when people sit on a "hard wooden chair," they are more inflexible. But when they sit on a "soft cushioned chair," they are more accommodating. This can lead to a faster and smoother resolution.


The CW / Via wereblog.com


Start conversations with "I" instead of "you."


Start conversations with "I" instead of "you."


"Saying 'you' starts the conversation off as an accusation," New York-based individual and couples therapist Irina Firstein, LSCW told BuzzFeed Life. "Always begin an important conversation with something like, 'I have something that I wanted to share with you,' to keep the other person from feeling defensive."


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Take an adult time-out, but with a set amount of time.


Take an adult time-out, but with a set amount of time.


"The adult time-out is a crucial relationship skill that you should talk to your partner about beforehand," psychotherapist, author, and host of VH1's "Couple's Therapy" Jenn Mann, Ph.D. (also known as Dr. Jenn) told BuzzFeed Life. "Make a commitment to each other that if things get too heated you'll take a break." To keep your partner from feeling like you're storming out on them, give them an ETA on how much time you need. "I think it could be helpful to say something like, 'I'm feeling really heated and would like to talk about this when I'm in a better place, so I'm going to take a 5-minute walk."


mturkgrind.com


In an argument, put your hand on your heart.


In an argument, put your hand on your heart.


"Sometimes I find that if you do that while looking at the other person, it can show that you're coming from a loving place," says Firstein. "It can really soften the mood."


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18 Winter Car Hacks That Are Borderline Genius

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Stop scraping ice every morning and start using these tips.



Getty Images / iStockphoto


Raise your wipers at night and cover them with socks to prevent them from freezing to your window.


Raise your wipers at night and cover them with socks to prevent them from freezing to your window.


Thinkstock


Frozen lock? Use a straw and blow on the lock to melt the ice.


Frozen lock? Use a straw and blow on the lock to melt the ice.


You can also use hand sanitizer to quickly thaw it.


Thinkstock / whittakermountaineering.com


Or, use a lighter to heat the car key and slide it into the lock.


Or, use a lighter to heat the car key and slide it into the lock.


This also works for frosty front doors.


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32 Gorgeous Elopements That You'll Swoon Over

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Less can definitely be more.



Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed


This artful affair:


This artful affair:


Buena Lane Photography / buenalaneweddings.com


This city hall soirée:


This city hall soirée:


Leila Jacue / llstylephoto.com


This backyard gathering:


This backyard gathering:


Sarah Bastille / sarahbastilleblog.com




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33 Ways Spray Paint Can Make Your Stuff Look More Expensive

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It’s basically the Midas touch in a can.



Alice Mongkongllite for BuzzFeed


Your fridge just got classier with these gold spray painted magnetic alphabet letters.


Your fridge just got classier with these gold spray painted magnetic alphabet letters.


inspiredbycharm.com


Easiest winter decor ever: give dead branches new life with gold spray paint.


Easiest winter decor ever: give dead branches new life with gold spray paint.


All that glitters IS gold.


weddingomania.com


Save tons of money on a new faucet by just spray painting the one that you have.


Save tons of money on a new faucet by just spray painting the one that you have.


See how they did this here.


bonfiresandwine.com




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31 Times "Sweet Valley" Covers Summed Up Your Masturbation History

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You don’t have to be blonde to have fun with yourself.


When you blared music so no one could tell what you were doing in your room.


When you blared music so no one could tell what you were doing in your room.


Bantam / Via shannonsweetvalley.com


When your parents always had some reason to come to your room when you were about to rub it out.


When your parents always had some reason to come to your room when you were about to rub it out.


Bantam / Via shannonsweetvalley.com


When it was summer vacation and you had the free time to masturbate twice, maybe even three times a day.


When it was summer vacation and you had the free time to masturbate twice, maybe even three times a day.


Bantam / Via shannonsweetvalley.com


When your rude as fuck sibling told your parents what you were doing alone in your room.


When your rude as fuck sibling told your parents what you were doing alone in your room.


Bantam / Via shannonsweetvalley.com




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14 Hilarious Jokes About "Twilight"

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Once you go Jacob Black, you never go back.


This shocking revelation.


This shocking revelation.


sniffel.blogg.se


This Pokemon mashup.


This Pokemon mashup.


knowyourmeme.com


This truth about Jacob.


This truth about Jacob.


weknowmemes.com


This Harry Potter mashup.


This Harry Potter mashup.


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This Couple's "Save The Date" Engagement Photo Is Going Viral

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“The Hunt Is Over”. Badass.



This one picture from the shoot has since gone viral - and it's not difficult to see why.


Joshua Rainey Photography / joshuaraineyphotography.com


I shot the photo on a property owned by Brady's parents. They have over 150 acres along the Siletz River [in Oregon]. The whole family is very into elk hunting and even hosts Make-A-Wish elk hunts on occasion.

Stevie and Brady came up with the idea and surprised me with it during engagement photos. We worked together to figure out how the image should look and set it up quickly before sunset.

It was rather tough to get the shot though, since Brady could only be upside down for a few minutes. Brady tied his own knots and got himself hooked up to the tractor and then his dad lifted him up slowly.


The snap was posted on the Facebook page of the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation, and it has since been shared almost 30,000 times.




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Ranking The (B)romances In "The Lord Of The Ring" From Worst To Best

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One couple to rule them all.


Sméagol and Déagol


Sméagol and Déagol


Almost all we know about this relationship is that one killed the other to get the ring. Based on that information, I'd say it was pretty dysfunctional.


New Line Cinema


Wormtongue and Saruman


Wormtongue and Saruman


It didn't end well but they achieved some pretty evil stuff together while it lasted.


New Line Cinema / Via tumblr.com



Newline Cinema / kittykate90.tumblr.com




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A Woman Left Her Husband Of 60 Years An Adorable Love Note To Find After She Died

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She hid it in his checkbook to remind him they’ll meet again someday.


Jimmy and Billie Breland were married in 1954 and remained very much in love during their 60 years together.


Jimmy and Billie Breland were married in 1954 and remained very much in love during their 60 years together.


Cliff Sims, the couple's grandson, wrote on Yellow Hammer News that she was a public school teacher and he was a Baptist student minister, and they were known in their community for their kindness and generosity.


Courtesy Cliff Sims / Via yellowhammernews.com


In late 2014, Billie's health began failing but Jimmy remained by her side in the hospital until she died this month at the age of 83.


In late 2014, Billie's health began failing but Jimmy remained by her side in the hospital until she died this month at the age of 83.


Courtesy Cliff Sims / Via yellowhammernews.com


"Every photo on the walls of their home is meticulously documented," Sims said. "She wrote down funny things that happened or quotes she wanted to remember, all in the perfect cursive handwriting that could only belong to a school teacher."


And at some point before she died, she wrote a heartwarming note — this one for Cliff — which the family later found tucked inside her checkbook.


And at some point before she died, she wrote a heartwarming note — this one for Cliff — which the family later found tucked inside her checkbook.


It says, "Please don't cry because I died! Smile because I lived! Know that I'm in a happy place! Know that we will meet again! I'll see you there!"


Courtesy Cliff Sims / Via yellowhammernews.com




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This End-Of-The-World Engagement Shoot Is Completely Badass

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Their love can survive anything.


After Chris Love and Kara Kyser got engaged at Comic Con last fall, they decided to have a little fun with their engagement photos.


After Chris Love and Kara Kyser got engaged at Comic Con last fall, they decided to have a little fun with their engagement photos.


"We're both geeks," Love, 35, told BuzzFeed Life. "Kara is a gamer and cosplayer. I'm more a movie geek, I guess, and dabble in the realm of cosplay too. Between the two of us we hatched the idea of this post-apocalyptic theme — nukes, not zombies — from our mutual interests."


Courtesy Chris Love


The Kansas City couple hired photographer Joshua Hoffine to shoot their photos. Here's how they turned out...


The Kansas City couple hired photographer Joshua Hoffine to shoot their photos. Here's how they turned out...


"The video game series Fallout is one of my favorites," Kyser, 25, told BuzzFeed Life. "I've always been intrigued by the idea of a post-nuclear fallout and the resourcefulness of people surviving it."


Joshua Hoffine / Via hoffinephotography.com


"We thought it would be fun to kind of tell this story where we got married, but then the fallout happened, but it's okay because we managed to survive and are still rocking our wedding day attire," she said.


"We thought it would be fun to kind of tell this story where we got married, but then the fallout happened, but it's okay because we managed to survive and are still rocking our wedding day attire," she said.


Joshua Hoffine / Via hoffinephotography.com


Hoffine photographed them at Missouri's Belvoir Winery, which is the site of an old orphanage and nursing home and is rumored to be haunted.


Hoffine photographed them at Missouri's Belvoir Winery, which is the site of an old orphanage and nursing home and is rumored to be haunted.


As for their attire and props, Love said the tuxedo belonged to his grandfather and the wedding dress came from his sister-in-law. They rented the guns and ammo from a shop called Have Guns, Will Rent, which he said "exists in the shadier part of KC."


Joshua Hoffine / Via hoffinephotography.com




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49 British Swearwords, Defined

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A guide for the bewildered.



Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed


1. Arse, arsehole – n., variants of ass and asshole. Can also be used to mean bothered ("Can't be arsed") or acting the fool ("Stop arsing about!"). Mild.


2. Bastard – n., illegitimate child or mongrel; objectionable fellow, probably one who has won one over on you; unpleasant situation ("I'm having a bastard of a morning!". See also: git, rotter, swine.


3. Bell, bellend – n., head of a penis; fool. (Only write as "bell end" if referring to the end of an actual bell.) Medium strength. See also: dickhead, knobend.


4. Berk – n., idiot. Very mild, yet apparently originated as rhyming slang for "Berkeley hunt".


5. Bint – n., derogatory synonym for woman. Avoid, on the whole.


6. Blimey, blimey O'Reilly, cor blimey, gorblimey – n., expression of astonishment. Thought to derive from the phrase "God blind me!" Terribly mild. See also: crikey.


7. Blighter – n., person or thing to be regarded with contempt/envy. See also cad, rotter, swine. Mild.


8. Bloody – adv., intensifier, popularly used in the phrase "Bloody hell!" Very common, medium strength.


9. Blooming – adj., basically a very mild, somewhat archaic form of "bloody". Use with abandon.


10. Bollocks – n., testicles. Used to mean rubbish or nonsense, as in the exclamation of disbelief "Bollocks!" and the album title Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols; in phrases such as "the dog's bollocks" to mean something definitive and perfect; and, in the related word bollocking, a dressing-down ("I gave the useless fool a bollocking"). Medium strength, and very common.



MTV / okstupidadventures.wordpress.com




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14 Must-Haves For The Perfect Booklovers' Night In

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You can get these by Valentine’s Day if you really book it.


Arrange the Date


Arrange the Date


Library Card Valentine, $7.00


Meow Kapow Shop / Via etsy.com


Get Casually (and Literally) Elegant


Get Casually (and Literally) Elegant


Romeo and Juliet Text Tights, $24.90


Coline Design / Via etsy.com


Spruce Up A Bit


Spruce Up A Bit


Oscar Wilde Perfume, $110.00


Anthropologie / Via anthropologie.com


Offer a Sweet Love Token


Offer a Sweet Love Token


Folded Book Heart, $25.00


LucianaFrigerio / Via etsy.com




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Building The Man I Am

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I lost my mother last year, and this is what I made her.



Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed


My mom bought me a pretty, twilight-blue dresser back in the spring. I'd just moved for the third time in a year and was broke in that desperate, "Should I buy this plunger or wait until next week?" way moving breaks you. She'd come into a little bit of money and asked me if I needed anything.


I was 33, a new man — new to New York and manhood itself, only three years on testosterone and freshly bearded — and I needed a lot, really. My missing inventory belied the loneliness of that winter and the bachelor, sweaty summer since I'd moved from New England, dream-dumb and starting over in a city full of tattooed, bearded men who looked just like me. I didn't own silverware, a table to sit down to — civilized tools of home that said: Here is a man who goes to sleep each night and wakes up knowing he belongs in the world. Aspirational, really — like my pricey Lower East Side studio, like the muscle of my body, like my self-made life.


Still I asked her for the dresser, embarrassed and eying the stacks of clothes on the windowsill. There were factors: a woman I'd just started dating and wanted to impress, who'd inspired in me nesting desire for spicy candles and good towels and a place to put my clothing.


Mom said, "Sure, honey." A few days later she emailed to let me know that the dresser was on its way, and that the assembly looked "complicated." I thanked her and tried not to be insulted by the implication.


It arrived that weekend in three boxes, flattened into dozens of numbered parts and accompanied by hundreds of bits of hardware. I unpacked the whole thing the day of my housewarming party, swore mightily, and promptly shoved the disassembled pieces under my bed.


Days after the party my mom called again. "How's it look?" she asked, and I stared, humiliated, at my growing pile of T-shirts, toppling in a pile onto the floor. I thought of the bones of the dresser, gathering dust beneath me. I thought of my inability to make a real home. "Great," I told her.


"You get it put together OK?"


"Yeah, it was easy to put together, actually," I said.


"Good boy," she said. Later that year, my mom would go to the emergency room of the hospital where she would eventually die, and who knew then that this was her last act of maternal nurturing, one of a million such gestures, cohesive after death but hard to define during life, the many small ways Mom was my mom.


"It's perfect," I said, feeling tender at her. We were speaking to everything we'd never said, of course. Like: I wish I'd could have bought you a million dressers, let's make up for lost time. Like: I'm sorry that this is so messy, thanks for making room for the man I am — a soft heart in a boxing glove. A man who can put it together; a man who knows how to fall apart.



Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed


"What makes a man?" was my question for years and in this beard, these muscles, this echolocation of body language I use to track my movement in space, I found my answer.


Or, I found two: the man I am and the man the world wants me to be. The "man up" versus the man I am.


The tools that helped me bloom like a bristled flower — the spiked needles, the nippled vials of testosterone, the blood tests and bandages — are crude as the violence of my initial arrival, a new man in my thirties, brawny and birthed full-grown into a world I thought I understood but, in fact, I hardly knew at all.


I am a disruptive man, in my ripped T-shirt or pressed white Oxford, with my hand tattoos and smart guy glasses, passing like Clark Kent at work and in barbershops with bros who hassle me kindly about my girlfriend, she who requests, always, that they not cut out my curl.


I know the rules and I break them, at the outdoor bar where I locate in myself a surprisingly passionate, deep knowledge of Sex and the City, which makes me dissonant and strange to the straight woman I'm talking to, but I go on anyway.


My body is a technology, a miracle, a testimony, a call and response.




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Did Your One-Night Stand Lead To True Love?

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Because maybe “the rules” about when it’s OK to sleep with someone are actually bullshit.


When it comes to sex and dating, some people still believe in certain rules.


When it comes to sex and dating, some people still believe in certain rules.


Grand Central Publishing


Women, specifically, are advised not to have sex with men "too early."


Women, specifically, are advised not to have sex with men "too early."


Because if she has sex on the first date, he would then think she has sex with every dude on the first date, which would mean she's Not The Marrying Kind.


Creative Commons / Via Flickr: boston_public_library


Something something something no one wants to buy the cow if you're blah blah blah.


Something something something no one wants to buy the cow if you're blah blah blah.


http://Thinkstock.com


But! The fact is, plenty of people bang it out "too early" and no judgment is cast.


But! The fact is, plenty of people bang it out "too early" and no judgment is cast.


ABC / Via imdb.com




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