With great honor comes great financial responsibility.
It's amazing how quickly a paycheck can reinvent itself as a ruffled, sea green cocktail dress and a handful of genital-shaped confetti. There's no wide-ranging survey to assess the average national cost of being a bridesmaid, but $1,500 is often bandied about. In the pursuit of non-scientific studies and pure curiosity, we recently asked women tell us much they spent, how it broke down, and how they felt about it. The lowest amount we got was $60 and the highest was $3,000...but after reading all 66 responses, it was clear that it's not total the amount spent, but how it's spent that really matters to most maids.
Here are some of their stories...
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed Life
Age: Withheld
Wedding location and date: 2009 in Pemaquid Point, Maine
Relationship with the bride: Best friend from high school
How much did you spend on the bridesmaid dress, including alterations?
Thanks to the wonderful bride, I spent $175 on a J. Crew dress. The dress was originally $250, but she found every possible discount for all 11 of her bridesmaids. We combined discounts and ordered during a sale time that she alerted us to. I spent $0 on alterations because I bought the dress in my petite size, choosing out of the eight or nine options of which cut looked best for me.
Have you worn the dress again?
Yes, I've worn it regularly since I got it.
What about hair, makeup, and any shoes and jewelry?
We did our own hair and makeup! Between 11 bridesmaids, there are probably still bobby pins lurking in that hotel room. I bought the very simple silver hoop earrings she requested, and the shoes were up to us, so I used what I already had.
How much did you spend on the bridal shower and bachelorette party?
I didn't spend any money on the bridal shower because it was out of state, I had no money, and I forgot to send a gift. For the bachelorette party, I think I spent around $200. I took the bus from New York to Boston, then got a ride with a friend to Cape Cod, where we spent the weekend at a friend's family's house. We went to a bar one night in matching T-shirts. It was a thing.
How much did you spend on travel for wedding?
Getting from New York City to Maine without a car would have been hugely complicated if not for friends from out of town who flew into New York. We rented a car for the weekend, so it was probably $100 per person.
Did you give a gift?
I went in on the gift that my parents got, which is to say I signed their card (see below re: graduate school). But I did give the bride some really nice makeup the morning of the wedding, and I felt really good giving her something that she didn't have to share.
How did the bride and/or her family help keep costs down?
Ashley (the bride), her sister, and her mom were ON IT from the very beginning. They were organized and interested in making the whole process easier and fun for the whole gang of 11 far-flung bridesmaids.
I just stumbled upon an email that really sums up the whole experience. In the week leading up to the wedding, Ashley's wonderful sister Courtney sent an email to all of the bridesmaids with a little paragraph thanking each of us for specific things that we did as a part of the process. Aside from that, they gave us all really cool swag bags with flip-flops, a necklace to wear for the wedding, and a bunch of other little things that I kept.
Any final thoughts?
I loved everything about it. I still love wearing that dress! I just searched my email for information about this wedding and almost all of the emails are signed "WHY DID I GO TO GRAD SCHOOL" so...yeah.
Age: 27
Wedding location and date: May 2014 in London
Relation to the bride: Best friend from college
How much did you spend on the bridesmaid dress, including alterations?
She was very insistent that the bridesmaids would have Vivien of Holloway dresses, that she paid for. This was an amazing gesture, but as someone who is 5'11", and plus-size, I knew they wouldn't fit me. She bought me a dress three sizes too small and said I'd have to get it modified. I took it to a dressmaker with fabric from the designer and had it made bigger for £50. The bride really did not want me to get it made bigger, she wanted me to fit in it as it was, and she was very awkward about the whole situation.
What about hair, makeup, and any shoes and jewelry?
I spent £25 on jewelry she chose before changing her mind, and £30 on shoes. She also had us spend £20 on a lipstick she wanted us to wear.
How much did you spend for the bridal shower and bachelorette party?
I traveled two hours to the bridal shower after being hospitalized with a suspected stroke. I spent £40 on a necklace for her and a gift for her mom, who hosted. I didn't go to the main bachelorette party because I was still sick; I couldn't afford it! I spent £40 on a makeup party at her house.
How much did you spend on travel for the wedding?
After spending £300 on trips to London by train for dress shopping, I was kicked out of the wedding.
What happened?
After the bachelorette party, she left a message telling me my hair wasn't an acceptable color. I had pink hair with very long roots (due to my illness, I hadn't dyed it in a while), and was told I wasn't allowed to keep it pink or dye my roots, as her hair was to be pink.
As time went on, I began receiving dozens of messages a day, via Facebook, email, and text, from the bride and her mom, asking questions and making demands. I was told I wasn't dedicated enough, or giving enough of my time to being bridesmaid. In the end, she told me I wasn't focused on her wedding and that I was no longer welcome in her bridal party, but I could still attend the wedding as a guest if I wished. I declined and have not spoken to her since.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed Life
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