An Honest Discussion About This Insane 1940s Etiquette Guide

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All excerpts taken from the 1944 lifestyle book Future Perfect: A Guide to Personality and Popularity for the Junior Miss.

BuzzFeed

Supposing a new girl should suddenly step into your crowd, a girl with a slouchy walk and a 'before taking' complexion. A girl with listless eyes and stringy hair. A girl who reminds you of the butter-and-egg man— butter on her blouse and egg on her collar. Before she has even said a word, a swift appraisal runs through your mind, doesn't it? You think she can't possibly be very interesting because of that no-care slouchy walk. Her dull eyes tell you more. They do not radiate enthusiasm for anything. ... No, you think, I don't want her for a friend.

"OK so, first of all, who is the butter-and-egg man?"

"Yeah, that was my main concern."

"Should this girl be in a hospital?"

"I do not like how the narrator is telling us what we think. She doesn't know me. Maybe I fucking love butter. Hot news flash: I do."

"Yeah, and I keep it on my blouse. Easy to reach."

"This woman has come from a breakfast that sounds great and exhausting, and I want to be friends with her so I can go to that breakfast."

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13 Hilarious Accidental Twitter Poems

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As found by @pentametron, the internet’s best rhyming couplet robot.

Twitter: @pentametron

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23 Writers With Messages For Straight White Male Publishing

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“Listen.”

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

We asked attendees at the annual Association of Writers & Writing Programs conference if they had any messages for the predominantly white publishing industry. Here are their answers.

"Diversity is not publishing the one story. It's publishing multiple stories from people of diverse backgrounds."

—Karissa Chen

Isaac Fitzgerald / BuzzFeed

"My main characters are not always black."

—Sophfronia Scott

Isaac Fitzgerald / BuzzFeed

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Which Hogwarts Club Should You Join?

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Are you an athlete? Or are scholarly pursuits your thing?

17 Stories That Will Make You Want To Hug Your Librarian

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“I couldn’t ask for a better role model or teacher.”

Sarah Galo / BuzzFeed / Thinkstock

1. "When I was in 1st grade, I checked out a book and never read it. The end of the school year soon arrived and the book was no where to be found. I felt so bad and I apologized to my librarian so many times. Somehow, in the middle of summer, I found the book in the pantry and freaked. I wrote a letter to my librarian about how sorry I was and told her it would never happen again. She mailed back the five dollars I had paid for the book, a really cool bookmark, and a note about how we were still cool and she was totally happy that I'd found it. Ms. Shelly Dean, you are a great human being and a genuinely amazing soul."

— tizzyice

2. "My favorite librarian is Kelly Morgan from Gilbert Elementary School, and she's literally been in my life for 18 years. She is amazing at story time, and gets the kids involved in reading by asking them to make inferences based on the illustrations. She organized a summer reading program and had activities throughout the week. I started volunteering during the summer when I was in fifth grade, and I was back nearly every summer through college. My senior year, Kelly supported me through my honors thesis and was the third reader on my committee. She's a huge inspiration to me!"

– Ronnie E., Facebook

3. "My middle school librarian, Ms. Knott, has been a close friend of my family and my friends for years. She inspired all of us to read more and engage with all different types of literature, and sponsored our Sci-Fi/Fantasy group. She taught us all to be who we were, and to treat each other with love and respect. On top of that, she came to my wedding and took a picture with all of us in silly hats in our photo booth! I couldn't ask for a better role model or teacher."

— FellowshipGMP